Do you ever feel lonely sometimes? – Even with hundreds of people around you, who keep in touch with you, have fun with you, go out of their way to wish you happy birthday and a smile? I do. I could be surrounded by the loveliest people having a delicious meal at a gorgeous place and some may even be jealous of what I have. So why do I still feel alone?

I would say I do not know, but obviously, when one feels this way and so strongly about it too – I end up thinking about it for every second of my day. These thoughts torment me but I think I find the answer. Time and time again, I recognise the problem. I even find the cure. But I am a terrible patient with very low levels of compliance – that, I do not have a cure for yet. Lack of committment.

The fact that I feel alone when in reality I am not shows a huge discrepancy in my percption and outlook. It is as if my mind has walked into a kaleidoscope maze, and I am no longer able to see reality nor can I walk out of it. A form of blindness has attacked the eyes inside me.

It’s not bizarre though – logic will explain that with damage, eyes will be blinded. Mine have been damaged and though not beyond repair, it will take good time for repair and the treatment is painful.

I need to be more grateful – that will ease the pain. Being grateful is remembering what you have rather than focusing on what you do not have. If I am to forget about what I do not have, then what more could I want? I would have everything and be able to feel contentment. For Allah is always there – always – there is nothing more I need. When He has absolutely full control of absolutely everything, why does my heart feel the need to dissect the problems of this world and take them on individually one by one like a wannabe hero? Because it has been a fool. And now it is time to stop. The wisest thing to do, the right thing to do, would be to trust Allah – The Creator of the heavens, the earth, the mind, the soul, the realm of time; of everything our minds could ever contemplate and of everything our minds cannot.


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